Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
