Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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