I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
ok first of all what the fuck
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
