Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
