I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
