a queef is a wish your heart makes.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
