He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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