Nicole vs. Life
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
