i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize