i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
