is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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