there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize