This is not my ceiling
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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