i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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