I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
