I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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