i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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