dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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