my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
