You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
