I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
