My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize