whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Randomize
