Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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