My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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