I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
