I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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