One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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