just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
