real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
