He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
