that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
