woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
