this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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