Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize