Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
