I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize