He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
