So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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