using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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