I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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