Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize