when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
