I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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