Whoa Z and x make the same sound
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
