I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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