So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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