thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
