Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
honey bunches of taint.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
