Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My hand turned me down
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Drunk is a universal language darling
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