is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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