I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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