Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize