I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
