Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
