I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
