she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
