the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
