i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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