Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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