Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
