fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
