i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
