Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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