smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
